In the beginning
Where nobody knows
A fearsome opponent
Is said to arose
Some DNA Pool
Got cross pollinated
A terrible plant-cat
Was somehow created

Vicious and hateful
Dispenser of death
Laid waste to millions
With just its raw breath
Rivers of lava
Wherever he spat
Not quite a veggie
And not quite a cat
Asparapuss

Tall green and furry
A sight to behold
Watch as his merciless
Plans will unfold
Leader of minions
Oppressor of men
Brought up from hell
A Cardinal sin

Vicious and hateful
Dispenser of death
Laid waste to millions
With just its raw breath
Rivers of lava
Wherever he spat
Not quite a veggie
And not quite a cat

Bow before Asparapuss
Bow before Asparapuss
Bow before Asparapuss

Guns they were useless
We threw them aside
Kitty repellent
We tried and we tried
Defoliation
It had to be done
We had to find ways
To make the chlorophyl run

Vicious and hateful
Dispenser of death
Laid waste to millions
With just its raw breath
Rivers of lava
Wherever he spat
Not quite a veggie
And not quite a cat

Bow before Asparapuss
Bow before Asparapuss
Bow before Asparapuss

(Spoken as a fighter pilot):
Ground control This is F-117
We are ready for our ddt run
We are about 90 km out flying in at an approach vector of 137 degrees
Tell the ground troops to clear out
We'll take care of things from here
The B2s are right behind us with a hefty dose of agent orange
We have one chance to wipe this thing out.
We are going to destroy that evil cat-vegetable monster.
Or see you in hell.
Tell my wife I love her and I hope to see her for dinner
Over