In the beginning
Where nobody knows
A fearsome opponent
Is said to arose
Some DNA Pool
Got cross pollinated
A terrible plant-cat
Was somehow created

Vicious and hateful
Dispenser of death
Laid waste to millions
With just its raw breath
Rivers of lava
Wherever he spat
Not quite a veggie
And not quite a cat
Asparapuss

Tall green and furry
A sight to behold
Watch as his merciless
Plans will unfold
Leader of minions
Oppressor of men
Brought up from hell
A Cardinal sin

Vicious and hateful
Dispenser of death
Laid waste to millions
With just its raw breath
Rivers of lava
Wherever he spat
Not quite a veggie
And not quite a cat

Bow before Asparapuss
Bow before Asparapuss
Bow before Asparapuss

Guns they were useless
We threw them aside
Kitty repellent
We tried and we tried
Defoliation
It had to be done
We had to find ways
To make the chlorophyl run

Vicious and hateful
Dispenser of death
Laid waste to millions
With just its raw breath
Rivers of lava
Wherever he spat
Not quite a veggie
And not quite a cat

Bow before Asparapuss
Bow before Asparapuss
Bow before Asparapuss

(Spoken as a fighter pilot):
Ground control This is F-117
We are ready for our ddt run
We are about 90 km out flying in at an approach vector of 137 degrees
Tell the ground troops to clear out
We'll take care of things from here
The B2s are right behind us with a hefty dose of agent orange
We have one chance to wipe this thing out.
We are going to destroy that evil cat-vegetable monster.
Or see you in hell.
Tell my wife I love her and I hope to see her for dinner
Over

Verse 1
Gentlemen we have a dilemma
We're on the brink of a terrible ruin
We gave this planet one big enema
Now, you see, trouble's a brewin’
Let’s get out while the getting is good
Laying waste just like we should

Verse 2
Time has proved us wrong
Thinking this would last forever
But now it won’t be very long
Board the ship, pull the lever
Let’s get out while the getting is good
Laying waste elsewhere, just like we should

Bridge
Those crazy Mayans had it right
It's time for us to take our flight
Ruin is on its way
No time to waste, no time to pray

Chorus
It’s 2012, Armageddon, outta here
Bing’s a coming, have no fear
Wasted humans, a waste of time
You’ve had yours, now it’s mine.
It’s 2012, Armageddon outta here
Before we go, have one last cheer
We took it all, we had a ball
And now it’s time for the final call
Some say our greed went too far
We don’t give a damn, that’s just who we are

Verse 3
Bing is thinking he’ll save this place
He’d be foolish for trying though
He’ll bring evil's name a disgrace
But then again, who the hell knows
Let’s get out while the getting is good
Laying waste, just like we should

Repeat Bridge

Repeat Chorus

Instrumental Breaks

Repeat Bridge

Repeat Chorus

Intro:
The ancient ones told us of the struggle between good and evil
Good creates something out of nothing
Evil creates nothing out of something
Every so often evil is converted into good
This is one such story

Verse 1:
Just when the past which has never been
Disappears from the future
All alone unable to feel
No sense of direction

Creations Creature
Unsettled in torment
Blind by the mysteries of time
Megaton Maniac

Verse 2:
Lost in a world of fantasy
Each new day a travesty
Unwilling to see forever
A reckoning is to arrive

Bridge:
You can’t be free (I can be free)
You can’t be free (I can be free)
You can’t be free (I can be free)
You can’t be free (I can be free)

You can’t be free (I can be free)
You can’t be free (I can be free)
You can’t be free (I can be free)

Verse 3:
I can see a new way
Where I am finally free
Ah, bless the new day
Where I begin to see

Verse A:
Something's going on inside of my brain
From moment (to moment) I don't feel the same (the same)
I can't seem to find
Where I left my mind
Everything is changed
They're saying I'm deranged

Verse B:
Life is just getting scarier
Crossing over the barrier
I'm in an uncharted area
Give me that needle I'm daring ya

As a child, I was precocious
Then they said that I had a neurosis
Tried everything, even hypnosis
Now they're saying it's a major psychosis

Pre-Chorus:
Time is slowing down almost to crawl
Scared like a child lost in the mall
Fell like just another brick in the wall
Am I somewhere or nowhere at all
Teetering, tottering ready to fall
Go to visit Alice down the rabbit hole

Chorus:
Is this my countdown to insanity
Where I lose my pride and vanity
Everything is unraveling
On my countdown to insanity

Bridge (Asylum):
Somebody wake me up tell me I'm dreaming
I hear doors slamming and I hear people screaming
Nurses chained me up on a sofa
Turned on the TV and made me watch Oprah
Then they all laughed as they gave me injections
Said I just needed some time for reflection
Please Dr. please. Someone please. Help me please.
Help me please
HELP ME!!!!!!

Main Solo:

Repeat Verse B:

Repeat Pre-Chorus:

Repeat Chorus:

Synth/Sitar Solo:

Please Dr. please. Someone please. Help me please.
Help me please
HELP ME!!!!!!

Outtro Solo:

Verse 1
Got my motor runnin’ to the MC5
On a post-apocalyptic scenic drive
To the four horsemen we did succumb
Jersey to the west coast Kingdom come

Chorus:
I’ll take my chances
On Satan’s highway
Where evil dances
Get out of my way - yeah

Verse 2
Rollin’ thru Nebraska damn them GMO’s
Now the corn is talkin’ and it’s growing toes
Zombies in Las Vegas dressin’ like the king
Elvis left the planet, even took the bling

Repeat Chorus:

(solos)

Verse 3
They turned it to rubble, this land of the free
But they still lobby the mutants in DC
This land is my land think I’ll stick around
Outta’ my way I’m California bound

Repeat Chorus:


(solo)

VERSE 1
Strummy announced the asparagus song
Bapu had asked, could I tag along
With Jon on the drums and Space writing words
Alex's intro soared with the birds

VERSE 2
A couple of tunes later, Grant lent a hand
And really charged up The Coffee House Band
Space had to leave on a new business matter
So Philz is singing just like a mad hatter

Chorus
Thundering bass, brain melting drums
Keyboards so sharp they slice off your plums
Guitar chords from hell, singing so loud
A band of whom Grzylyrg can surely be proud

VERSE 3
Danny added flash to a song or two
But then he and Jon had some other stuff to do
Young J did a solo on his blazing guitar
With Dave on the drums, took a chance in his car

Chorus
Solo

VERSE 4
The band went through changes, no doubt this is true
But they'll keep up the desire to entertain you
They have some new songs they want to get done
Their brand of heavy metal all sprinkled with fun

Chorus x2